This is the first of what will be a weekly featured article addressing
the questions and concerns of those in the swinger's lifestyle.
You will also get new ideas and tips that may help you in your endeavors.
This article is written by Silvia Summers who has been in the lifestyle
for 10 years and will give her perspective and insights and experiences
surrounding swinging.
Today I am going to start from the beginning of what swinging is and
what new comers should expect when looking for a play partner or partners.
The Swinging Lifestyle has been in existence since time began. Because
on it's most basic level, the word "swinging" is only a board
term meaning; the sharing of sexual pleasure with a person or persons
we are not legally married to, In this context; most of the people in
the world today, ARE swinging, whether they realize it or not.
The word "Swinging" derived from a Minister, who told his congregation,
there were weird people who were swinging back and forth from bed to bed, in
the same manner as Monkeys. He seemed to think the people we spoke about
were doing something new, different and weird but he was very wrong! Even
in Jesus' time it was the common and acceptable behavior for the wealthy
and powerful to have many wives, concubines and slaves for their sexual
pleasure!!! Several women rulers availed themselves of their power also,
by keeping an equal number of male slaves and consort to satisfy their
sexual needs and desires too. So, what is being considered as new and
weird conduct in our present unenlightened sexually controlled and somewhat
puritan thinking world has been considered normal and even acceptable conduct
for many people civilization and religions since time began.
Now that we have defined what swinging is, let's discuss how people
get started! You can not just expect to walk down the street and find
a partner to join you and your wife for a threesome. Many people join
websites in this day and age, such as www.playpartner.com and place a
personals ad of what they are looking in a person or couple to meet up
with. This gives you an added bonus of weeding out those that you are
not interested in and knowing they are there for the same reason, great
sex! There are two important points when placing an ad in this lifestyle
and those are:
Honesty- You need to be honest about what you look like
and what your intentions are. If you are not and you meet up with someone,
it won't be a pleasurable experience for anyone. Be honest about
what your limits and thoughts are and don't beat around the bush,
leaving things open for assumption is a bad idea. Also make sure that
if you are a couple that you both have the same ideas as to what you are
looking for.
Be descriptive in your ad- When placing an ad, make sure
you include as much about yourself as possible. List the things you would
want to know about another person. Creating an ad that says "I want
hot sex" and leaving it at that will get passed up by almost everyone!
After all, they want the same thing but that doesn't tell them just
how hot it will be.
In next weeks article I will cover things such as
communication with your partner and how to introduce a curious partner
to the lifestyle. Each week, I will also answer any questions you may
have (though I can't answer them all). This weeks question to me
was as follows:
Q: My fantasy is to have a threesome with my wife and
another guy. I think it would very erotic to see my wife having sex with
someone else (and to join in). So far, I've been unable to convince her.
A: That is a great fantasy! I have been involved in many
threesomes with couples and have had a lot of fun! But to get back to
your question, the key is communication. Your wife needs to know that
your fantasy is something that you would like to live out; she also needs
to know that you love her and that this isn't because you are not
satisfied with her in bed. You also have to make sure that you are secure
enough in your relationship that when and if it comes to reality, that
you will not suddenly become angry with her for enjoying it. She could
be thinking this is a test or she has a feeling that it is more of a fantasy
then something that you live out. She obviously enjoys your relationship
but has concerns about the fantasy. Also remember, no means no. If she
is against it 100%, I wouldn't push her into it. Some ideas to get
her interested would be to bring a sex toy to bed with you (dildo), first
start out slowly and touch and tease her body as you normally would, when
she starts to really enjoy herself, introduce the toy as another male
in bed with you. Let her know that it's ok to enjoy the feeling,
if she resists, then I would suggest putting the toy away and carrying
on with making love to her. If she is receptive, she will voice what she
likes and how she would imagine it to be. Remember that if she isn't
interested in this, it's not the end of the world. She may one day
want the same fantasy but just not today. Good luck!
Make sure to check me out next week when we discuss communication with
your partner and how to introduce a curious partner to the lifestyle.
If you have a question that you'd like answered, send me an email
at silvia at playpartner.com until then happy Swinging!
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Disclaimer: This article is for entertainment purposes
only. The findings and opinions of authors expressed herein are those
of the author and do not necessarily state or reflect those of Playpartner.com.
First Time Swingers
