This article is written by Silvia Summers who has been in the lifestyle for 10 years and will give her perspective and insights and experiences surrounding swinging. http://www.playpartner.com/

In last week's article, I talked discussed what happens "Bisexual Swingers and Threesomes". This week, I'm going to focus on Swingers and the Male, female, Male Threesome.

This is one of my favorite topics, threesomes! If you and your spouse have never had a threesome and wonder what it would be like and how to go about it; I will give you some insight as to how my experiences have been. There is a bit of a move within the swinger's community surrounding threesomes. It used to be the majority of couples were searching for another female to join them for fun and fantasy. In today's world, more and more couples are adding another male to their bedroom activities.

My Experience: I can remember my first male, female, male threesome. My boyfriend and I had been together 5 years and we were exploring the swingers' community. We had swapped with a few couples and had a female join us as well. It seemed the more experiences we had the stronger our relationship became. We felt sexually free with one another and found ourselves looking to explore even more. We were having dinner one night and we were talking about the nice couple we had met that weekend, when he suggested that we have a threesome with a friend of his from work. Now at this point I was unsure how to react, internally I was very aroused by the thought of having two males penetrating me. In my mind I had a lingering question of how this would affect our relationship. Would he become territorial and become angry if I enjoyed myself to much? Or would there be a competition of sorts as males are well known to do? After tossing around those questions in my head, I decided to just come right out and ask him, "Are you sure?" Jeff replied, I'm positive and went on to tell me that it was as much for me as it was for him. Jeff wasn't bisexual but he was very comfortable in his sexuality. He expressed to me that I had nothing to worry about and put my mind at ease.

The Threesome: The night of the threesome, Jeff and I went out to the local club and had a few drinks when he said he had a surprise for me. I knew in the back of my mind what he was planning but I wasn't positive that was what he had in mind that night. So we go out to the car and Jeff proceeds to the motel down the street. We then head up to a room and walk in, it was very dark at the time and Jeff had me sit on the bed as he put a blindfold over my eyes. I knew at that time that I was in for something very erotic, my pulse was racing, my panties where soaked and I was ready. I began feeling the sensations of 4 hands caressing my body. It was then that Jeff removed the blindfold and I could see his friend from work between my legs and Jeff standing over me. I won't give every detail but I will tell you that none of the questions I had running through my head before, happened. It was a very positive experience

Find the Select Male: If you are placing a personals ad in search of a select male to join you and your wife, make sure you are very descriptive in what you are looking for. Start out with emails asking them questions of how many experiences have they had. Have they ever been with a couple in a threesome situation, and ask them how they would see it and see if it matches what you are wanting out of this. Finally, stress, SAFE SEX!!! You do not want your wife contracting a STD or pregnant with another mans baby. Though it seems a bit rigid, I would say, seek those that are V-safe and ask for pictures of not only their genitals but also their body. This will help you be as safe as you can be.

Does this mean he is bisexual? The simple answer is no. Just because he wants to bring another male into the bedroom with you, does not mean he is bisexual, though he may be curious. Many men are aroused by the thought of another male having sex with his wife. But this will vary from one couple to another. It never hurts to ask what turns him on about it.

Things to remember: The male you bring to bed with you should NEVER stay the night the first time. It is a bad idea to wake up and still have the person in your bed the first time. I say this for a few reasons, first you need to communicate with your partner on the experience, secondly it leaves you in control and lastly you will probably have tremendous sex with your partner the morning after! By now you probably have questions in your mind if this was your first time, such as "Oh now I have shared another male with her and she thinks it's ok to be with other male without me" The answer is no! If anything this experience has shown her how secure you are with the relationship. Now men listen up! If your man shares your bed with another male, the days following, you need to shower him with love and affection. Let him know what that act meant to you. But if this was the first experience for you both, he will have questions in his mind that you need to put at ease. Hopefully it was a good experience that you both had shared. Ladies, keep in mind that sex for men is more times then not is just sex in these situations. When he makes love to you, there is much more because of the experiences in life you both have had and shared.

I received a lot of email after lasts weeks question and answer section. Thank you! I love all the positive feedback that is coming, keep it coming! Now onto this weeks question:

Q: Dear Silvia, We were invited to a swingers club in our local town, yet we have never been to one, what can we expect? Or what is expected of us?

A: Great Question! Swingers clubs are A LOT of fun! You will meet local couples and if they allow it singles that are there for the same reason as you. Most clubs require you to purchase a membership to help support the club expenses. Many of the clubs I have been to, have conducted a pre-join interview. The thing to remember is that the swingers will be of all different shapes and sizes as well as ages (unless it is stated what age group the club is looking for) When you first go to a club, normally they are separated into areas, such a "play room" or "social area" and even a hot tub area. So you can mingle where you feel the most comfortable. Before joining a club, write down your questions and don't be afraid to ask them all!

Make sure to check me out next week when we discuss planning the perfect swingers party, this will part 1 of 3! If you have a question that you'd like answered, send me an email at Silvia at playpartner.com, until then happy Swinging!

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