This article is written by Silvia Summers who has been in the lifestyle for 10 years and will give her perspective and insights and experiences surrounding swinging.
http://www.playpartner.com/

In last weeks article, I talked about what curious couples and how to introduce a spouse to the swinging. This week, I'm going to focus on meeting swingers for the first time, the things you should and should not do.

Just like meeting anyone for the first, you have to remember, first impressions are lasting impressions. So when you are getting ready to go meet a fellow swinger or swingers for the first time, it is important that you keep a few things in mind. First, the obvious, be clean, shaven, make sure your make-up is up to par and your appearance is not just acceptable but impressive. Nothing will turn off others faster then someone who shows up looking like they just rolled out of bed. Be on time! Being late for a date is a sure sign of selfishness; after all, swinging is about sharing! Ok, so now that I have covered the obvious, lets move onto how and where to meet.

Meet In Public: If you are meeting a single or couple for the first time, I would suggest meeting somewhere public, and I'm not talking about burger king! Some great places to meet would be in a dance club or local tavern. It should be a place you both agree on, but it should also be somewhere there is enough distraction that you can speak and not worry about others over-hearing your conversations. It should be somewhere that the mood is fun and festive and not dark and quiet. Hey if they are up to it, try a topless bar!

The Meet: Ok so now you are all dressed up and you know where you are going and what time to be there. If this is your first time meeting another couple or single from a swinger's site, your nerves will be racing from the excitement and newness of it all. So how do you break the ice? I'm going to assume you are a couple meeting another couple in this situation. As you approach the people you are meeting, make eye contact and be polite, introduce your wife and yourself and smile! It's been my experience that a smile is a perfect icebreaker. If you are meeting for drinks, ask them what they are having and buy the first round. Now while you are waiting for the drinks to arrive, remember what you have learned about them, what was it they liked as in hobbies or things they like to do for fun, and then start a conversation about something that interests them. This will definitely put them at ease a bit as well as you. Remember they need to be comfortable with you and you with them before any swapping can take place.

Things NOT to do: You have taken the time to get primped and ready to meet another couple for fun, so some things to keep in mind when you meet them. First, don't be pushy! Do not walk up and say "hi how are you doing, where's your bedroom?" That is just obnoxious. Also, do not walk up and ogle his wife or her husband, remember drooling isn't attractive! Do not get drunk! I don't know how many times I have met couples and had one or the other get drunk and the whole experience was a mess, so control and maintain yourself. During the course of conversation, stay away from controversial topics, like politics or religion, you are there to have fun! Not to solve the worlds troubles! Do not go into the meet with expectations. By expectations, I mean do not expect them to automatically want to leave and have sex. Though I can't stress enough, you should bring a condom, just in case!

Things TO do: These are the obvious things to do but should be said because they are often ignored. Be friendly, treat them like you want to be treated. Have confidence in yourselves and do not be shy, as they could look at that like as being uninterested. Flirt a bit! Nothing gets the juices flowing more then a subtly look or a seductive glance, but don't over do it! After the evening goes on, hopefully the conversations have some sexual overtones and thus leading to a possible swap for the first time! If it doesn't work out, then be gracious and accepting if it was their decision not to do anything, maybe they just need more time to get to know you, or if it was your decision, then be polite in declining but be honest!

I received a lot of email after lasts weeks question and answer section. Thank you! I love all the positive feedback that is coming, keep it coming! Now onto this weeks question:

Q: Silvia! Thank you for the article last week, I make it a point to read your article each week, cheers! My wife and I have met a couple though playpartner.com, we have gone out and had dinner and drinks, though nothing happened that night. But they wrote us back again and invited us to come to their house to meet again! We are excited but a bit nervous, any suggestions?

A: Thank you for the compliment! It sounds like that the first meeting was a success! That is great news; They want to meet you again, not in public but their house! I do have some suggestions for you. This meet will be much different then the last. First, you know a bit about them, I assume they are comfortable with you and you them. Also that you both are interested in getting together again. So, make sure you show up like you did for the first meeting. Next, remember you are a guest in their house, be polite as always. My guess is that you will either indulge in conversation or a card game or something that involves everyone. In my experience, they will usually provide the beverages, but don't over do it. Remember their limits from what you gathered in the previous emails and meeting. Also bring protection, safe sex is not an option but a must! Though you are meeting again, don't expect to be having sex, unless they made that clear. But if do end up in the bedroom, here is my advice. Start out with your partner and begin like you normally do when making love. After getting in the mood and the other couple is ready as well then suggest swapping. Now during the course of this swap, remember if someone says no, then that means NO. Respect their limits and if they are not enjoying it, be attentive to that and stop. Enjoy yourself, don't be concerned with what your partner is doing unless you hear them needing you or they are having a problem. Making the person you are with feel like they are not there is very disrespectful. Lastly, after you leave their house, talk with your partner, let them know you love them and then discuss what fun or anything they may have concerns amount. Communication is the key!

Make sure to check me out next week when we discuss breaking the ice on a sex date. If you have a question that you'd like answered, send me an email at Silvia at playpartner.com, until then happy Swinging!

Copyright: This article can be used by webmasters free of charge for their websites or Ezines. The only stipulation is that the content remains unchanged or edited and that the link to http://www.playpartner.com remains live. Otherwise you are free to use it without contacting us.

Disclaimer: This article is for entertainment purposes only. The findings and opinions of authors expressed herein are those of the author and do not necessarily state or reflect those of Playpartner.com.

Average user rating